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Sunday, October 31, 2010

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

If you ever want to really get back at someone, don't hate them- just don't care. Hating someone and wasting the energy on wanting to get back at them just gives them the satisfaction of knowing they've won. If you really want to get back at someone, just stop caring. It drives people crazy. All we want in the world is to feel like we are important to other people and that we matter. Hating someone tells them that they matter enough to you for you to still think about them, talk about them, and consume your life with them. Hating someone will only drive you crazy, it won't make a difference to the person you hate. But being indifferent strips people of their importance; it makes them feel like they mean nothing to you and that you could care less if they exist or not. See when you actually break it down, indifference is way more effective and hurtful that hatred.

It's the same thing with ignoring someone. Responding to a text message, a phone call, or any form of communication shows that you are willing to put forth the effort to put together a response and then get the message across. It shows the other person that they are worth something. When you ignore someone's texts, calls, and messages, you send a message loud and clear: "YOU DON'T MATTER." It's more painful to know that someone doesn't even find you important enough to respond to than to find out they've been talking about how much they hate you. I mean if they're talking to you, at least they find you important enough to respond to.

Trust me from experience, being ignored sucks. Not knowing why you are being ignored is even worse. It's like when you get a D on an essay you spent weeks working on and your professor or teacher won't even tell you why. The unexplained is what drives people bonkers. We all look for a reason. Always. We all say that we believe that everything happens for a reason- and I'm sure it does- but why can't we ever figure out what that reason is? See, not knowing why drives you crazy. I guess it's something that you just have to accept and move on.

So just remember be careful with indifference- it's the most powerful weapon a human being possesses.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved.

Trust is like gravity: without it, we're screwed. But trust is also a gift and people need to stop taking advantage of it cause trust is also like a vase- if you break it, it can be mended but never fully repaired.

I feel like there are 2 types of people in the world in relation to trust: type A people who trust someone until they give them reason not to, and type B people who don't trust anyone until they give them reason to trust them. I, myself, happen to be like type A. I don't know how type B people ever trust anyone. I mean how do you give someone reason to trust you? I can't think of a circumstance where someone could provide me with a reason to trust them... but that's just me. Don't get me wrong, a lot of times I look like a fool, trust people I shouldn't, and regret trusting someone; but I learn from my mistakes and I give everyone a fair chance.... and usually a second... and generally a third. Some people may think I'm foolish and naive in doing so, but if people didn't give me a chance to be trusted, they'd never know how trustworthy I am.

If you're are a "Type A" person: be prepared to look like a fool. A little over a month ago I was talking to this guy who I was interested in. I thought he was cute and a talented musician and from what I knew about him, he was a very kind person and a great listener- however I didn't know him personally. I decided to introduce myself using the whole cliche "hey do I know you?" message on facebook- even though I knew exactly who he was. Don't deny it, every single one of us has done it. It usually works, and this time, it did. He messaged me back a few hours later and this lead into a 3 day conversation. He told me about his music career, his numerous record label offers, his celebrity friends- cool things that completely excite a girl who wants to enter the music industry. I felt so cool talking to someone who would one day be a professional in the career path I intended on following. I was in awe. I believed every word he said and ate it all up like a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting and rainbow sprinkles. It was only about a week later that I found out it wasn't even him responding to me. His friend had hacked onto his computer and responded to every single message. I felt like an idiot. I was an embarrassed fool. I was humiliated. I didn't even know what to say. But you know what? whatever. I didn't have reason to believe he was lying. I was kind of bummed but I decided to give the real him a second chance and I'm glad I did. Although most of it was a lie the first time around, I was able to learn other really cool things about him. He may not be best friends with Akon, but he was still a genuine person.

My point is: trust until you are given reason not to it's better to look like a fool for being mistaken than to look like a asshole for not even giving someone a chance.

Today at dance practice we did a trust fall. I absolutely hate trust falls- always have and always will. I'm not the skinniest girl nor am I short. I think tall people really have a disadvantage in trust falls- we have more weight that needs to be caught, a larger frame that needs to be cushioned, and the surface area of our bodies is definitely larger than those of the peanuts on my dance team. I happened to be partnered up with one of my friends whom I really trust. She is one of my best friends and I tell her everything. But I still couldn't trust her today- I refused to be farther than 3 feet away from her and I refused to close my eyes when I fell. I trust her completely with my mental health, but her skinny little butt had absolutely no chance of catching me. I'll be honest here, my hips don't lie- but they do really throw me off balance. I don't know why I didn't believe she'd catch me- but I still took steps back closer to her every single time.

I think those of us that trust often- trust partially. It's like what we lack in fully trusting someone, we make up for in the amount of people we trust. If that made any sense whatsoever. It made sense in my brain, but for some reason I feel like you went back and re-read that sentence multiple times.

Moral of the story?
Trust is like a flower: the greater time it has to grow, the more beautiful it will be; but be sure to plant the seed and give the flower time to grow- otherwise you're garden will be uglier than a cinder block wall.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Everybody has a safety net- it may just be temporarily under construction.

Shit happens. That's life. We can all give a nice warm shout out to Adam and Eve for screwing everything up. But without evil in the world, good would not seem as great. The magnitude of everything would be so much less if its opposition did not exist. I mean if sadness didn't suck, happiness wouldn't be worth celebrating; If frowning didn't use so many muscles, smiling wouldn't be as easy.

My last few days have sucked. I'll be honest. I mean if you couldn't tell by my melancholy memoirs. I kind of felt like I didn't have a safety net. I felt like I was falling and there was no one there to catch me. But in reality, my safety net was there all along- it was just made out of fishing wire so I couldn't see it. I realized that I have friends and family who are always there for me. Once I realized that, I couldn't help but smile. I mean the red velvet cupcakes and slurpee my friend brought me definitely helped, but I was just thankful for the people that I had in my life at that moment who were there for me.

I'm quite aware of the cliche saying, "We adore the ones who ignore us and ignore the ones who adore us."
It's so incredibly true. It's human nature to want to be liked. No one likes having enemies or being hated. But for some reason, we think we can change people. We enjoy chasing after the broken and then making them whole. We go after the lions who no one can seem to tame in hopes that we can domesticate them. It's a prestige thing. If we can tame the one who can't be tamed- then we have won. Good luck to any one who's trying to tame Miley Cyrus cause she obviously "can't be tamed." But in focusing on chasing the lions, we forget about the little kittens at our feet nibbling on our toes and purring. We completely ignore those who love and adore us and disregard them as if we expect them to always be there. I know I say this a lot, but we are so spoiled as a society. We are so self righteous and expect that whatever we have already acquired will always be ours. But you never know how long that kitten is going to stay there nibbling without acknowledgment before it runs away and finds a new owner.

Let's face it- if no one has been able to tame the lion before, don't expect to be the exception. One of my favorite movies is "He's Just Not That Into You." If you haven't seen it, get on netflicks or to blockbuster pronto. I learned so much from that movie and it is all so true. We always think we are the exception, but we never really are. It's not a bad thing, it's just a matter-of-fact thing. Instead of chasing after the lions, we need to play with the kittens. We need to ignore the ones who ignore us and adore the ones who adore us. And I guarantee that everybody has more kittens to play with than lions to tame. Deep down inside we are all that 87 year old cat lady. Don't deny it.

So on a happy note, be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for the people in your life. Never take for granted the opportunities you are given and the education you are receiving. Everything happens for a reason, we may never know why, but there is a reason. 

"People come into your life and people leave it... you just have to trust that life has a road mapped out for you.

newton's first law of motion seems to apply more to life than science.

so for anyone out there who never actually paid attention in physics, never actually took physics, or doesn't really care about physics, Newton's first law of motion basically states that an object in motion will stay in motion. Welcome to my day today. Everything kept getting worse and worse and worse. My mood was like a ball at the top of a really, really, really steep hill when the Santa Anna winds swept through. Let's walk through the disaster step by step.

1. got about 3 hours of sleep because insomnia decided to move into my head and make a permanent home. so instead of sleeping, i sat in bed trying to justify the things happening in my life at the moment and finally came to the conclusion that people just suck.

2. left late to go to Starbucks, hoping a carmel apple spice and a coffee cake would distract me from my failure at justification. of course i get cut off by Sargent slow poke and i try to get around him to make up for lost time. so as i go to switch lanes he decides he is going to also, so i switch back- oh wait he does too. So this little un-amusing game went on for about half a mile. then Sargent slow poke got promoted to admiral asshole. he thought it would be funny to take an entire cup of soda and dump it out his window- knowing it would splatter across my windshield. Then he decides to flip me off a few times, but 6:30 AM is way to early for birds to be making an appearance.

3. i finally get to Starbucks. they spell my name wrong- again. you'd think that by now, considering I've gone in there about 5-6 times a week for the past year, they'd know how to spell my name. well they don't. 


so after i leave Starbucks with my cold carmel apple spice and half eaten coffee cake, i walk to my car with my friend and we try to fend for ourselves against the wind. as she opens her car door, the wind decides it's going to help her. too bad the wind over blew and slammed her car door into mine. now my car has a lovely battle wound. just a long scratch and dent. no big deal. you can only see it from china. it's not her fault though. the wind is just an ignorant son of a bitch. mother nature- i expect you to pay for the damages. 

4. i get in my car and drive to school- i have about 10 minutes to get there and its about a 4 minute drive. I'm thinking I'm totally fine. but no. the light decides its going to make us wait for 11 minutes as i watch all the other kids get to school on time and all i can do is sit. I'm the most impatient person. so telling me to sit still when that's not what i should be doing is like telling a car not to go when the light is green. it's so unnatural and annoying.

5. because I'm stuck at the light for so long, i have to park in frickin Taiwan in the parking lot and it takes me another 8 minutes just to walk to class. I'm just ranking up the minutes. i walk in about 10 minutes late to my first class. great. if anyone knows me- i hate being late. i hate it. i think it draws unnecessary negative attention to you and i just hate it.

** side note** my drink spilled all over me when i was walking to class because somehow the wind formed a tornado, forcing the drink to pour up and out of my cup onto me. cool. 

and you can just imagine how great of a day I've been having ever since. just pure joy.

Dear Santa Anna Winds- Blow me.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

If you think life can't get any worse, you seriously lack a sufficient imagination. If you think life can only get better, you seriously lack a functioning brain.

Don't get me wrong, I think everyone needs to be thankful for what they have. We all take for granted how lucky we are and how blessed out lives have truly been. But at the same time, you never know when that will be taken away. Your dreams may seem to be coming true, but you never know when reality will set back in. Story of my life. Just as things begin to go the way I hope, they decide to make a complete U-turn at the next intersection. Example A, my music career. I feel like I'm playing monopoly; it's like every time I roll the dice, I always seem to end up in jail and have to skip my next turn. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have another turn coming eventually, but you get to the point when eventually just isn't good enough.

In life we all seem to ride in the middle lane- never getting to close to the edge of the cliff but never wanting to be right next to the barrier either. It's like we constantly live our lives half-ass. We don't want to live life completely on the edge because in all honesty, it's never worth gambling everything away for one good time; but we don't want to live too safely because we don't want people thinking we are cowards. We are constantly worried by how we are perceived that we live life in the average lane. By trying to be different, we are conforming to what society tells us to do.

I am on my school's dance team and last year we had one dance in particular that fell into this category at one point. One of our dances was basically a recreation of the SAW movies through dance. It was creative, obscure, and uniquely beautiful. At one competition a judge told us that by trying to be original, we are actually blending in. I thought she was on drugs when she said it because #1: it didn't make sense and #2: it was completely untrue. But by applying what she said to life, I began to understand what she was saying.

Everybody wants to be original, but we learn what originality is from society. We think originality is one specific fashion, so we replicate what we see as "original" and in doing so it loses its originality and becomes the next trend in the world. So we find ourselves at the same average position we began at and can't seem to move away from.

Because we live in such an neutral phase in life, things could always get worse. Always. I guarantee that everyone has more to lose than they expect. And trust me on this, you really don't know what you've got until it's gone. Don't take advantage of how great things are in life because I can promise you they could easily get worse.

But if you think life can only get better, you must have been living under a rock for your entire life. Welcome to Reality: the land of sucky people, broken dreams, and complete and utter idiots. Life doesn't owe anyone anything- and trust me- it knows it. There will always be someone there to rain on your parade. And it will rain, storm, and hurricane until you finally pack up your floats and streamers and move on. That's just how life goes. No one ever said life was fair, just eventful.

So just enjoy what you've got and be happy with where your life is because there's no guarantee that it will get better, nor is there any promise that it's as bad as it's going to get.

never make someone a priority. you are always just an option.

Yeah, everybody knows the saying "never make someone a priority when you're only an option," but what nobody seems to know is that you are always just an option. Think about it. There's never only one choice; there's always another way. It seems so obvious to me but apparently it's not.

Love (noun): an illusion used to lure people into thinking that another human being is actually capable of truly caring about another human being

Obviously that's not the actual definition, but in reality- it should be. We all search to find love because it makes us feel important. Being cared for makes you feel like you are actually worth something. Love means being the priority. 

There's a definite difference in being the first option and the first priority. Being the first option means you could be the 9 millionth priority, but out of all the other options for the 9 millionth priority- you're the best choice. Being the first priority means you hold the most importance over everything. I feel like no one is anyone's priority. I'm not even my own first priority. I put more importance on everybody else's well being than my own happiness. Any day. That's just who I am and as much as I wish I was different- I'm not. I usually end up disappointed but everyone else gets their way.

You'd think that by now I'd be used to being just an option and you'd think that by now I'd know I will never be a priority, but nothing ever changes. The distinction between priority and option seems to be a life lesson that nobody will ever grasp. It's one of those things that we try and convince ourselves does not actually exist, but it does. Like the fact that we hire people based on looks. I mean come on let's be honest, you'd hire an attractive person over an ugly one any day. As much as we try and convince ourselves that this doesn't actually happen- it does.

So my whole point to this is that as human beings, we are not capable of actually fully loving someone and making them our priority. We have short attention spans and get distracted easily. We always have other options. Never make any one your priority because I promise you, you won't be theirs.