Search This Blog

Sunday, January 23, 2011

a dialogue can quickly turn into a monologue if you don't say anything worth responding to.

i hate those conversations where every response you get is one of the following: "haha", "ya", "kk", "ok", "yeah", or the worst one, "lol". "LOL"... really? I'm pretty sure if i was funny enough to make you laugh out loud then you would have more to say. or "kk", do you realize that you are only one more k away from the white supremacist group? or "haha". if i'm not actually making you laugh, don't pretend. i know that i am actually funny and i do not need your pretend laugh to fill some missing void. if my message isn't worth responding to, then don't. cause i promise if you ever send me a "ya", "kk", or "lol" i will NOT respond. LOL is like a noncoding codon that stops protein synthesis, except it stops conversation. 

I'd seriously rather talk to myself. at least i know that i can carry a conversation and crack semi-funny jokes and throw random puns in there for shits and giggles. but it seriously drives me nuts when people cannot carry a conversation. my 78 year old grandma can carry better conversations than half the people i converse with on a daily basis and she barely speaks English. i mean seriously. there are SO many things to talk about. talk about sports. i may not understand, but i can totally deal with listening to you ramble on about who the Lakers beat or who won the world series. i may not completely understand, but I'll pretend like I'm enjoying the conversation. Or movies, there have been so many movies made and so many in theaters, there has to be at least a dozen that we have both seen, and i can probably quote most of them. Or tell me how your day was. if your day sucked, tell me some exciting story about how you found an ostrich-sea gull hybrid in the middle of the night while you were driving around. i don't care if it actually happened or not. and when i ask you what you are doing, if you say "nm" we are no longer friends. really, I'm i seriously only worth a 2 letter response?

one of the most frustrating things in the world is when you feel like you aren't getting the attention of someone who you are conversing with. it's as if you aren't important enough for them to listen to. i know that i talk a lot. like a lot. but at least i am trying to uphold conversation. i understand that sometimes i talk too much. I'm Italian. i talk loud, fast, and in large amounts. sometimes i amaze myself with the amount of words i can squeeze into one breath. but that's the thing, at least I'm trying. and when you talk to me, i will give you the attention you deserve.

basically what I'm saying here is I'd rather talk to myself than have a conversation with someone who thinks I'm only worth a 2-3 letter response. at least i know that i can carry conversation and can convincingly act like I'm interested in what I'm talking about.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

the science of love

Maybe it's just because I'm obsessed with the script's new album, but i can't help but listen to it over and over again and i keep listening to this one song, which happens to be the song the album is named after. It's called "science and faith," and the best lyrics are in the chorus. It says:

" you won't find faith or hope down a telescope.
you won't find heart or soul in the stars.
you can break everything down into chemicals,
but you can't explain a love like ours."

basically it's saying you can honestly find an explanation to everything except love. When it comes to love, there is no right or wrong answer; there is no formula or theory; there is no equation. Love is unexplainable. You can't control who you love, nor can you control who loves you. You can't make someone feel any specific way; you can't make someone love you when they don't. You also can't stop someone from loving you. There's no secret book or bible on love. it's something you just have to figure out on your own.

I think the hardest thing to accept about love is that there is no controlling it. it's one thing in life that no one can control. i don't care how intelligent you are, you will never be able to prove to me that there is a right way to do anything involving love. It's hard to accept things that are out of our hands. Sometimes, though, we just have to accept it without explanation. The thing we want the most is always the thing that we can't have. That's part of love. It's the fact that if love isn't mutual, it's not love at all. Love is a two way street. No turns, no merging lanes. just two lanes. the light has to be green for both lanes at the same time. if not, it doesn't work. And I don't know about you, but I hate sitting at stoplights. I think we waste so much time at stoplights just sitting there. doing nothing. and we can't change the fact that the light is red. It's the same thing with love. We sit there waiting for someone else to feel a certain way, but there's nothing we can do to change the way they feel. So we sit there, doing nothing, when we should have just taken the freeway.

That's my new philosophy on love. It's a two way street. Some people think it's worth risking having to wait at a light forever; others find it easier just to not have to deal with love at all, to take the freeway. I've driven the side streets enough times to know that I always hit the red lights. I've learned to always take the freeway. always.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

"reading between the lines" is synonymous for "over analyzing"

Reading between the lines is just the more justifiable way of saying over analyzing. We think that by looking up, down, around, and in between the words that we hear or read, that we will find something that's not already there; but trust me, you won't. I'm the most over analytical person, as I feel most of the female species is. I analyze everything any one says down to the the punctuation. I mean there is a distinct difference between "hey!" and "hellooooo" and "hi." Don't deny it. You know you've analyzed it too. We convince ourselves that everyone is playing a mind game with us, so we play it back. But in doing so, we just create an even bigger mind game. It's like who can boggle the other person's brain more. We try to be sly and secretive about how we feel, but really we all basically wear our hearts on our sleeves- if we mean to or not.

There's no hiding how we feel unless you are an extremely internal and introverted person. I know I am NOT. You can tell EXACTLY how I feel at all times just by the look on my face. And if for some reason you can't, you can ask me and I'll tell you EXACTLY how I feel. I just don't like mind games. My brain hurts too much from school and work and the rest of the curve balls life throws at me; I'd rather not have to analyze your feelings towards me at the moment just by a salutation. No thank you. But even though I don't want to, I do any way. There's no stopping it. I'm an over analytical person. I except it. But boy does it ever hurt my brain.

I don't know if guys are as analytical as girls are, but I can tell you from experience that girls will sit there staring at a text message trying to decode it as if it was written in a completely hieroglyphic foreign language. We sit there and read it word by word, and at different speeds, as if change the emphasis on certain words will uncover a hidden meaning. But it doesn't. Yet we still find one. I feel like sometimes we revert back to the old ways of elementary school when punching someone in the face meant you liked them. Or chasing someone around the field until you were both completely out of breath and about to pass out meant you thought they were cute. I don't know what sort of perverse mind set that is, but some people seem to never grow out of it.

It's the ignorance within us that wants to believe that if we can't find something that it is still there. We try and convince ourselves that just because we can't find it, doesn't mean it's not there. Sometimes it's just not. We have to just accept it sometimes and move on. But it's hard to distinguish when its the right time to stop looking or when we still haven't looked hard enough. With my experience in this subject, it seems to be that as soon as you stop looking for it, you stumble upon it accidentally. But who knows, maybe that's just me and my clumsy, over analytical self.