Search This Blog

Thursday, November 25, 2010

the show goes on.

Everything happens for a reason. No body knows why. Accept those facts and move on with your life. I know I use those sentences in almost every blog, but with each re-post of those words, I start to believe it a little bit more. The facts are easy to understand, but hard to completely accept. Especially when it comes to heart break. My greatest fear in life is a broken heart. It's the only ailment that cannot be fixed with medicine, stitches, or a kiss from mommy. Sorry Advil, but even your potent pain killing power can't ease the pain of a broken heart.

Break ups suck. Period. End of story. Kind of. Remember that there is always an optimistic outlook on things, even if it's hidden by a brick wall- it's still there. The way I look at break ups is, it's God's way of saying it's time to let somebody else know how amazing you are. It's God's way of exemplifying the oh so pre-school lesson that "sharing is caring." There's no doubt a break up is awful; you are saying good bye to something that has been such a huge part of your life. But the fact that break ups suck is common knowledge, like 2+2=4. We get it. But what people don't seem to understand is that a break up is just God's way of helping us make friends, forcibly make friends. Maybe even open our eyes to a friend that has been there all along- a friend that maybe should be more. You just never know why God threw that little hiccup into his plan for you, but it's there for a reason.

Life is unforgiving; it doesn't stop for any reason. Just because our worlds stop when our hearts are broken doesn't mean the real world does. It's one of those things where our worlds are run by our hearts, but the real world is run by some omnipotent being that does not no where the off button is. Life is like a movie. A really long, gigantic movie. A break up is like losing your costar. Just because you lose your costar does not mean the movie ends- it just means that the writers will come up with some crazy spontaneous event that explains your costar's sudden disappearance. Then the casting director will find you a new costar. And the movie will continue. Except in life, your brain plays the role of both the writer and the casting director. You come up with some excuse justifying why the break up happened, and then you are out on the hunt for your next partner in crime. The next Brad to your Angelina. But just remember, no matter what happens in life- the show goes on.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

I think that in life, everybody needs something to believe in. It doesn't matter if it's God or any other spiritual being, but I think believing in something is essential to our emotional and spiritual survival. But not only do we need something to believe in, but we also need someone to believe in. A role model. A hero.

Role Model (noun): someone worthy of imitation

Hero (noun): a person distinguished by exceptional 
courage and nobility and strength

Now that we have cleared up the ambiguity of the terms role model and hero, I can finally move onto my point. I'm honestly really tired of celebrities living up to our low expectations of them. I feel like we expect celebrities to abuse drugs and alcohol, get DUI's, have more hoes than Santa, and shave their head when they have mental break downs. It really bothers me how they are fully aware that their lives are under a microscope, called TMZ, all the time, but still do stupid things. I also understand that it's the outrageous things they do that keep them at the high level of social status. But instead of doing something outrageously stupid, let's try something outrageously self-less.

It also bothers me when celebrities, whom young children look up to, wear inappropriate clothing. I mean there is this thing called underwear that normal people wear, especially when they wear skirts and dresses. There are also these things called dresses, pants, shirts, shorts, skirts, and jackets. I'm sick of watching talented artists and actors walking around in a loin cloth and pasties. Let's try and dress more appropriately, especially for your audience.

I think celebrities take for granted that we actually care what's going on in their life. We want to know who is dating who, we want to know who is wearing what, we want to know where they are going and why. Yes I know this makes us all sound like stalkers, and yes I know that twitter has not made it any less creepy; but its human nature to be curious. So when celebrities complain about getting their pictures taken, I want to scream. I would LOVE for people to care about what's going on in my life. I can barely get people to listen to what I have to say or ask about what I'm doing, let alone get them to actually care about it.

So while celebrities complain about how the paparazzi are following them around like a love sick puppy, there are people putting their lives on the line for our freedom and safety. I went to dinner with a friend of mine the other day who is a marine and he told me all about his time spent at Quantico. Hearing what they went through for so long really made me realize how much of a wimp I am and how much I take for granted. There are soldiers who are risking their lives for us all over the world, just so we can be safe and live in a country where we pride ourselves on our freedom. There are firefighters and police officers who save us from harm and come to the rescue with just a single phone call. There are doctors and EMT's and surgeons who are ready to save our lives as soon as we need help. I never realized how lucky I was to live in a country with such an amazing safety net. I never realized that every where I go, I'm surrounded by true heroes who never get the credit they deserve.

I'm not saying celebrities aren't worth a moment of TV time, that's definitely not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we allot so much time on TV and the radio to listen to the lives of celebrities and their "woes," when there are other things that deserve more air time, like the hidden heroes in our country. We also need to start paying more attention to what's going on internationally. I know that there are some enemies amongst countries in the world, but we also have to realize we are all people. We all have blood running through our veins. We need to bond together and help each other out. We all need to be a hero to someone. 

I know I look UP to my younger brothers. Yes, I did say younger brothers. One of my younger brothers is so in shape. He is only 15 and he is extremely healthy, fit, and enjoys staying in shape. I wish I could say the same. He definitely got the more athletic genes in the family. If you ask me to go to the gym or run once I'm watching TV on the couch, I will look at you like your are completely crazy and bury my head back into my cheetah snuggy and finish watching my Law and Order SVU marathon. My brother, however, would get up, get his shoes on, and go. He's just one of those people who enjoys staying healthy. I really look up and him for that. My other brother is a bit of a handful. He's only 5, but man is he demonic. He looks angelic with his blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes- but what you don't see are the little devil horns growing in. But what my little brother taught me how to do was to love. He has such innocence and intelligence at the same time. But it's his kind heart, that I don't really acknowledge as much as I should, that showed me how to really love someone. I'm lucky enough to have my role models in my own house and my heroes almost everywhere I go.

So if you get the chance, re-evaluate what you look for in your role models and heroes. I'm not saying celebrities do not serve as good role models. I think Beyonce and Bono are extremely amazing role models. But really think. Are you looking up to them because they are good people, or just because they are in Christian Louboutin heels.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Smile. Your enemies hate it.

It's so difficult to put on a front that you are completely fine and better off without someone. I get it. I've been there. In fact, I'm usually always there. Whether it be a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's really hard to show people that you are okay- especially when you're not. But my mom has always told me, "The opposite of live isn't hate, it's indifference." The best revenge is almost no revenge at all. In fact, seeking revenge shows someone that they hurt you so badly that you feel the need to use your time and energy plotting to get them back. Yes, I know it's hard not to post statuses about how upset you are, or post song lyrics about someone breaking your heart and now your broken, etc. But as stupid as we want to think they are, they do know that those statuses are about them. And they do think we are pathetic.

The best way to get back at someone who has hurt you, is to show them that they really didn't phase you; in fact, they actually held you back. The best revenge is success. It kills me when I see or hear about people I really hate and how successful they've gotten. It makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for them, like I was the reason they weren't succeeding. It makes me feel like they are better than me. And let me tell you. It sucks. Like a lot.

I now know that the best way to get over a fallen friendship or a broken heart is so focus on yourself. Focus on school. Focus on getting healthy and in shape. Focus on your future. Focus on work. Focus on things that affect you and your well being. That way, when you finally have that awkward run-in with an ex-friend or ex-boyfriend, they will feel like the idiot. You'll look great, feel great, and you will have the great success stories to back you up. I know that the last time I was heart broken, I started going to the gym, paying more attention in school, actually doing my homework, and I focused on singing. When I awkwardly ran into the douche bag at the movies, he came up to me and said that I "looked amazing." My response? "Yeah, I know." He was definitely taken aback by my new confidence because when I was with him, I was so self conscious and insecure. Then we proceeded to catch up, telling each other what was going on in our lives. He continued to tell me that he was failing half of his classes, lost his job, and got busted for weed. Then I proceeded to tell him that I had great grades, was booking modeling jobs, and signed with a record company. Boy was he impressed. Then he invited me to hang out with him after the movie. I laughed in his face, walked away, and continue to ignore him to this day. Moral of the story? Don't piss me off or break my heart. Just kidding, that's not the actual moral, but it's good advice. Again, just kidding. But the real moral of the story is: being successful is attractive, even to people whom you thought would never talk to you again.

So my advice to you is smile. Be successful. Re-prioritize so that you put yourself first. You will feel better, look better, and you will definitely catch the eye of people around you. Just remember a smile is your finest suit. There's no way you'll end up on fashion police. Your enemies? That's another story.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

Everyone has heard the biblical quote, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." If we were all to love each other as much as we loved ourselves, the world would be even worse than it is now. Now a days it seems no body realizes how great they really are. Yes there are those few balloon heads who have enough ego to feed a third world country, but the majority of people I know have such low self confidence. Contrary to the general belief, people usually blame themselves more than they should. If something goes wrong, it's somehow always are fault. We weren't pretty enough. We weren't skinny enough. We weren't cool enough. We weren't athletic enough. We weren't rich enough. We weren't good enough. That last one kills me.

I know personally, I never feel good enough for anything or anyone. I cannot tell you how many times people have told me that I am a "jack of all trades, but a genius at none." I also cannot tell you how painful that is to hear. It really sucks when people tell you that you are capable of everything, but not actually good at any of it. I always feel like I'm good in school, but not good enough. I'm a good dancer, but not good enough. I'm a good singer, but not good enough. So I've basically trained myself to think that I'm not good enough at anything. Or when something goes wrong in a friendship or a relationship, I always think I did something wrong, that I wasn't good enough for them. I never even contemplated the fact that maybe they changed.

There are so many people that I see on a daily basis walking around looking down, shoulders hunched over, insecurity out for the world to see. We all need to start appreciating how amazing we really are. We are all beautiful in someone's eyes. We are all intelligent in someone's eyes... some more than others... but God gave some people more beauty than brains, and that's perfectly okay. We are all loved by someone. We have to start seeing how extraordinary we are. And sometimes, we are going to need help. I just began talking to a friend of mine that I had a falling out with. We were such great friends and he was such an amazing person, but things happened and unfortunately it took a toll on our friendship. We were talking for the first time in months and he was telling me about how nothing seemed to be going write. And he was taking the blame for it. So I wrote him a letter telling him how amazing he was, pointing out the qualities in him that I saw that made him who he was- the things he should be proud of. Take the time to write a letter, or write on someone's wall, or email them and tell them how great they are and why. I promise you will feel better about yourself, you will see how blessed you are to have such a great person in your life. But what's even better is how amazing you are going to make them feel. 

I also don't think we realize how much we affect someone's day. About 3 weeks ago, I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day- as you know if you read my blog post. Looking back, I realize that my bad mood put the other people around me in a bad mood, and their bad mood just added to my bad mood. Not only did I ruin my day, but I ruined theirs too. Also looking back, my day could have been SO much worse than it was. I'm Italian, I exaggerate. My day really was not that bad,  mean it was super unfortunate, but it in all honesty could have been a lot worse. I've been trying to rid my life of the things that bring in negative energy so that way I can be more positive and in turn so will the people around me. The easiest way to brighten someone's day is a smile, or even a compliment. Just telling someone that they look good or telling someone they are pretty or amazing will definitely turn their day around.

We have to learn to accept that someone else's choices are not our fault. If someone stops liking us for who we are, that's not our faults. That's theirs. We also have to learn to accept that people come into our lives and people leave our lives. There is a reason. We don't know why, but there's a reason. Just accept it and move on. Oh and smile please. I know it's hard sometimes, but it's the most effective way to change someone's day. And how can you not smile when someone's smiling back at you? I dare you to try. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Girls aren't the only things that can be compared to Italian Sports Cars.

Talents are like cars. 

Some people have talent like an Italian sports car with a turbo ultra high horse power engine. Like this one:

Other people have talent like this piece of crap:

But the point is... talent ranges. Some people are just lucky enough to be the best at everything. Other people are given little to work with, but the ingredients are not necessarily equivalent to the final product. Rarely ever in science do the reactants equal the products. Just hope that in harvesting your talent, an exothermic reaction will occur.

Just because you start off looking or sounding like crap, does not mean you will end up looking and sounding like crap. It takes a lot of effort and practice to get good at something. It takes even more time and effort to become a genius at it. I've been vocally trained for over 11 years and I still am no where near as good as I want to be.  But I keep working on it.

I believe that talent is something you are born with. I think everyone is talented at something; whether it be school, music, sports, or socializing- everyone is born with a knack for something. But if talent isn't well taken care of or nurtured, it will not be as valuable as it could be.

Just because you are born with talent like the 1st car, doesn't mean your talent couldn't end up looking like this car:

And Just because you are born with talent looking like the 2nd car, doesn't mean your talent can't end up looking like this car:

So just stay determined and do what you love because you love it. The best talent always stems from passion, because from passion comes effort and effort is the best determiner for success.

this is an A and B conversation, so C your way out of it before D jumps over E and Fs you up G.

Letters: the symbols that, when joined together, form words. Words: the collection of letters that, when joined together, often make you sound like a jack ass. Don't get me wrong, some people are lyrical geniuses. A friend of mine is like Jason Mraz Jr. when it comes to song writing. Another friend of mine sounds like a classic novel when she speaks; it's like with every word she speaks, she adds to her book of life- which I'm sure one day will be published into a best selling memoir. But let's be honest here, most people say things without thinking and just sound like complete dips when they talk. Like they mean well, but for some reason, they cannot form sentences that get their intention across.

#1.) Compliments. For some reason our homosapien brains have not developed enough for us to realize that less is more. It's true. The less we say, the less of an idiot we sound like. When we give compliments, we often times just speak without formulating the sentence correctly so we subconsciously throw an insult into the compliment. We don't mean to have an underlying insult, but for some reason our brains just don't process fully before we release our thoughts. We just word vomit. Examples:
  • "You look really pretty today." It's totally meant to be a compliment, but it also implies that you normally don't look pretty. The omission on the word "today" would make the compliment just as nice and not as subconsciously insulting.
  • "That dress looks great on you! It does wonders for your figure." Cool. So basically you are telling me the dress covers up the myriad of flaws that I have underneath. Awesome. 
  • "You're smarter than you look." It's like people can't believe that someone has intelligence unless they are Asian, wear glasses, or are obsessed with star wars. *NEWSFLASH* people can be athletic, attractive, and social and still be smart.
  • "You're pretty good for a girl." Alright come on society. Throw the chauvinism out the window please. Girls are just as good, if not better than guys at almost everything. Yeah I know every guy reading this just said "especially at making sandwiches." Want to know what I call guys who make jokes about women making sandwiches? Single. Also guys, if you want to get a girl to like you- make her feel good about herself. I promise you will get further in life if you drop the "for a girl" after every compliment.
#2.) Sounding Intelligent. We often try to use big words to sound like we have an extensive and eloquent vocabulary, but when we use them in the wrong context- we sound like we don't even have a brain. There have been so many celebrities and politicians that have exemplified the stupidity of America by trying to sound smart, operative word being trying. Often times trying to sound smart actually makes you sound dumb as a doornail. We don't even know the actual meaning of half of the words we use on a daily basis. Examples:
  • Irregardless. We think it means: Regardless. It actually means: not a damn thing. The word "irregardless" isn't actually a word, yet we use it like it is. I promise that on a daily basis, 9 out of 10 people use the word "irregardless" and don't even realize that the word does not even exist.
  • Ironic. We think it means: an amusing coincidence. It actually means: an outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect. I personally like societies rendition better than the actual definition, but that's probably why I failed my test on irony last year.
  • Incredible. We think it means: amazing and extraordinary. It actually means: not credible, not believable. Yes it seems obvious. But when you think about how you use the term, we use it incorrectly. Like my friend is an artist and I was looking through her art work and everyone kept commenting about how "incredible" it was. But how can art work not be credible....
  • Terrific. We think it means: very good. It actually means: frightening. Another obvious one, but we STILL misuse the word. I mean come on people, the definition is in the word.
Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character it becomes your destiny. And at this rate, humanity's destiny is looking pretty stupid.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

whoever came up with the saying "live with no regrets" obviously never tried living.

Why is it that when we do something, we regret doing it; but when we don't do it, we regret not doing it. 

Example #1: cupcakes. Everyday I drive by my favorite cupcake place called Cupcakery on my way to the freeway. It's so torturous. The cupcakes there are so delicious and sweet. Their "Pink Velvet" cupcakes are so moist and their homemade pink cream cheese frosting melts in your mouth. It's just heaven in a window sill. But every time I drive by and get a cupcake- I regret eating it. Like the moment I finish the last bite, my mind goes, "OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO GOOD! but why did I have to eat that? There are so many calories in that and it will take me 2 hours of running at the gym just to burn off the frosting." So then the next time I drive by Cupcakery I don't get a cupcake- and then I regret not getting one. It's like there is no right answer in this situation. Girls- I know you feel me. Guys- don't even try to argue with me. You all burn fat like there's no tomorrow, so you can afford to eat the whole fricken store.

Example #2: text messages. Everyone has had that thought that they really want to tell someone but don't know if they should. Like either if you really like someone and you want to tell them or if someone really pissed you off and you just want to rip them a new one. Everyone has had that thought in their head and contemplated whether or not they should tell that person. Everyone has also sent that text message telling that someone exactly what you were contemplating telling them- and then wishing there was an unsend button. You know that moment when your heart stops and your stomach hurts and you wish you could steal their phone and delete the message? Yeah. That feeling. But then the next time you are debating whether or not to relay your message to the oh so lucky receiver, you decide not to- and wish you had. But by that time, it's already too late and you really regret keeping your thoughts to yourself.

I think part of the reason why we regret decisions is because we don't trust our initial instincts and we second guess ourselves. So then we blame our mistake on our bad decision- not our insecurity. Maybe I'm over analyzing it; but that's who I am, and that's what I do. I think that regardless of what we do in situations when we have the devil and angel perched on out shoulders, we will always regret doing it unless the outcome is in our favor. Like if you text the person you like telling them that you like them and they respond saying they feel the same way- you are so thankful you texted them. But if they respond with an "I just see you as a good friend," then you really regret sending that message and prepare yourself for you next awkward encounter with them, or your next avoidance. 

The point is: no matter what choice you make, you're always going to regret it if the outcome sucks; but all you can do is learn from the situation and make a better decision next time. Or you can be like me and keep repeating my mistakes over and over and over again like a broken record. Either way, life goes on.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Don't Judge a book by its cover- judge it by its spark notes.

This sounds so typical high school. I am aware. But if you really think about it, it's more efficient to make judgements off of a summary than just a glance. Yeah some people argue that spark notes are just a glance, but really they are a little more. No one ever takes them time to actually read books now a days, just like nobody actually takes the time to get to know anyone anymore. We make rash judgements about books just like we do about people. We look at a book: how thick it is, how wide it is, how tall it is, how big the font is, what font it's written in, how many chapters it has, how long each chapter is- and that's how we decide if it's worth reading. No one researches the book to see what kind of reviews it got from people who read it, no one researches the genre and author's style to see if it would be of any interest to us- we just look at its structure rather than its contents. That's exactly how we judge people.

When we see someone at school, or the mall, or work, or really anywhere, the first thing we do is look at their physical appearance. Are they thin or fat? Are they tall or short? Are they attractive or unfortunate? Are they blonde or brunette? Do they have good style or do they look like they got dressed in the dark? Do they have tattoos and piercings or are they completely clean? And based off of these judgements we decide who they are as a person. When you see someone with black hair, piercings, tattoos, and all black clothing- you're 1st thought is "They are emo. They hate life. They cut themselves." In our mind we are basically saying, "They aren't like me, they aren't worth my time." Another example: you see a girl in denim "shorts," tight shirt, big boobs, beautiful face, long legs, and blonde. First thing girls think: "She's such a slut. She probably gets with every guy. She has no self worth." In reality, we are just extremely jealous of her beauty and wish we actually looked like her. First thing guys think: "Holy Shit! She's so hot. Thank God for creating such a beautiful human being." What they really mean: "She's probably pretty easy because if she's that beautiful then she can get with any guy she wants and I know if I had the option to get with anyone I want, I would." We automatically make rash judgements about people by looking at them- by their cover.

We all know that no one is actually going to read the whole book before making a judgement on it- although that's how it should be, it's human nature to form our own opinions about things quickly and often. So instead of actually reading the book, the next best way is to read the summary- the sparknotes. For those of you who live under a rock, sparknotes are summaries, analyses, and important facts about books that people read so that they do not have to actually read the book. Sparknotes have gotten me through high school so far, and they haven't disappointed me yet. They are effective. They map out the most important things about a book- the things that characterize the book and make it what it is. Sparknotes get rid of all the false misconceptions and all the fluff behind the bare backbone of the book. Sparknotes tell you all that is worth knowing. Too bad people don't have sparknotes. They really should. I wish I could go onto the sparknotes website and type in someone's name and get a summary of who they are and what they are like, get all the important facts I should know, and be able to read an analysis on their character. We should really be judging people on those things- not what they look like. 

We tend to decide who a person is by their cover, but that's ineffective. What if the illustrator sucked? What if the budget for the book didn't leave enough money to make an elaborate cover? It's just ineffective. I'm sure if people judged me by what I looked like, they'd be completely wrong. I'm sure if people saw me they'd think, "She's  wanna be who tries too hard. She follows the trends in fashion because she is compensating for something. She does her hair and wears make up because she is insecure about herself, her natural beauty isn't good enough." I can tell you right now that's all false. I follow trends in fashion because fashion is exciting. It's a way to express yourself and your style. I do my hair and wear make up because I never know where I'll be going, who I'll meet, or what I'll encounter and I don't want to look like a hot mess when it all happens. And in that physical analysis, there was not one mention of my intelligence, my integrity, or my personality. I value my intelligence highly and I've worked hard for it. I am an honest, trustworthy, and responsible person- I value my reputation and my morals. I am a sarcastic smart ass who enjoys witty conversation and laughing at the stupid things that people do in life. And I promise that by looking at me, you'd never even think so.

When someone enters your life, it's for a reason. Nothing is an accident. If they enter your life, God- or whoever you believe is in control of the universe- meant for them to come into your life. Take the chance to get to know them for who they are, not what they look like or seem like. Reading the book is the best option, but even getting the spark notes is better than not reading anything at all.