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Saturday, November 6, 2010

this is an A and B conversation, so C your way out of it before D jumps over E and Fs you up G.

Letters: the symbols that, when joined together, form words. Words: the collection of letters that, when joined together, often make you sound like a jack ass. Don't get me wrong, some people are lyrical geniuses. A friend of mine is like Jason Mraz Jr. when it comes to song writing. Another friend of mine sounds like a classic novel when she speaks; it's like with every word she speaks, she adds to her book of life- which I'm sure one day will be published into a best selling memoir. But let's be honest here, most people say things without thinking and just sound like complete dips when they talk. Like they mean well, but for some reason, they cannot form sentences that get their intention across.

#1.) Compliments. For some reason our homosapien brains have not developed enough for us to realize that less is more. It's true. The less we say, the less of an idiot we sound like. When we give compliments, we often times just speak without formulating the sentence correctly so we subconsciously throw an insult into the compliment. We don't mean to have an underlying insult, but for some reason our brains just don't process fully before we release our thoughts. We just word vomit. Examples:
  • "You look really pretty today." It's totally meant to be a compliment, but it also implies that you normally don't look pretty. The omission on the word "today" would make the compliment just as nice and not as subconsciously insulting.
  • "That dress looks great on you! It does wonders for your figure." Cool. So basically you are telling me the dress covers up the myriad of flaws that I have underneath. Awesome. 
  • "You're smarter than you look." It's like people can't believe that someone has intelligence unless they are Asian, wear glasses, or are obsessed with star wars. *NEWSFLASH* people can be athletic, attractive, and social and still be smart.
  • "You're pretty good for a girl." Alright come on society. Throw the chauvinism out the window please. Girls are just as good, if not better than guys at almost everything. Yeah I know every guy reading this just said "especially at making sandwiches." Want to know what I call guys who make jokes about women making sandwiches? Single. Also guys, if you want to get a girl to like you- make her feel good about herself. I promise you will get further in life if you drop the "for a girl" after every compliment.
#2.) Sounding Intelligent. We often try to use big words to sound like we have an extensive and eloquent vocabulary, but when we use them in the wrong context- we sound like we don't even have a brain. There have been so many celebrities and politicians that have exemplified the stupidity of America by trying to sound smart, operative word being trying. Often times trying to sound smart actually makes you sound dumb as a doornail. We don't even know the actual meaning of half of the words we use on a daily basis. Examples:
  • Irregardless. We think it means: Regardless. It actually means: not a damn thing. The word "irregardless" isn't actually a word, yet we use it like it is. I promise that on a daily basis, 9 out of 10 people use the word "irregardless" and don't even realize that the word does not even exist.
  • Ironic. We think it means: an amusing coincidence. It actually means: an outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect. I personally like societies rendition better than the actual definition, but that's probably why I failed my test on irony last year.
  • Incredible. We think it means: amazing and extraordinary. It actually means: not credible, not believable. Yes it seems obvious. But when you think about how you use the term, we use it incorrectly. Like my friend is an artist and I was looking through her art work and everyone kept commenting about how "incredible" it was. But how can art work not be credible....
  • Terrific. We think it means: very good. It actually means: frightening. Another obvious one, but we STILL misuse the word. I mean come on people, the definition is in the word.
Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character it becomes your destiny. And at this rate, humanity's destiny is looking pretty stupid.

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