speed bumps ahead.

The rough patches in life are just like speed bumps in the road. Doesn't matter if they are life changing gigantic bumps that will literally alter our lives forever or the little obnoxious bumps that are short, abrupt, and really uncomfortable. Life's bumps are just like speed bumps on a road. They are there to slow you down and make you think about what you are doing and be aware of what's going on around you. They make you pay attention to what lies ahead. The only difference is that there are sign warning you about the speed bumps coming up in the road ahead, obviously life isn't so kind.

Whether you are fighting with a loved one, stressing about school, or really anything else that's causing your life to get a little bumpy, you have to look at it as a sign for you to slow down and think things through. There isn't always a right answer or a way to avoid the bumps completely, but there is usually a trick to one wheeling it around them. The key to overcoming life's speed bumps is to take them in stride and not stop completely, otherwise you'll just be stuck. You have to use your momentum to make it over the bumps, even if it means relying on other people to help give you the push you need.

When I first started driving, I went over speed bumps way too fast; it was literally like California screaming in a car ride. My dad told me to slow down and just ease my way over them. I complained that I had places to go and people to see, but he said that there are only a few and I should take the time to get through them carefully and safely. That was a lesson that I applied to more than just driving.

Life really only has a few major speed bumps, there are minor ones here and there as well, but those are easier to drive over. When it comes to difficult times in life, you have to stop. Literally slow down and just pay attention to what's going on around you. It's usually during your toughest times that your friends are waiting there to help you through it. I'm not saying getting over the speed bump will be easy, because in life, speed bumps seem to be the size of Mount Everest on steroids; but what I am saying is that the ups and downs of life are meant to make you slow down and allow yourself to catch up with what's really going on. Like a reality check. Now if only Life was kind enough to make signs to give us a heads up... but obviously that's too much to ask.

although they both mean "having no value," priceless and worthless are two very different words.

I don't know what is worse: completely losing or being second best. Because, I mean, if you lose completely- you had absolutely no chance of winning . You were so far away from your goal that it makes it almost easier to accept the defeat. But when you're second best, you're the first loser. you just aren't good enough.

I mean the obvious example is in a contest. To me, it's easier to accept last place than it is to accept second place. I mean yeah it sucks knowing you were the worst, but isn't that easier to accept than to accept the fact that you're good, but not good enough?

Or when you're talking to someone and they flirt with you and tell you how amazing you are and how they've never met anyone like you- but they have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It's like you're just there for their convenience and you are filling some void that they don't get from their girlfriend or boyfriend. It's like all you're there for is a filler. You're not good enough to be the main course- only a side dish.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling like you aren't good enough. It's especially hard when you feel like that from all angles. It's a weird concept to grasp that human lives are priceless, yet we constantly find ourselves feeling worthless. Although both mean having no value, priceless and worthless are two completely different things that are easily mistaken. We find ourselves feeling worthless when in reality, we are priceless.

so as hard as it is to accept the fact of never feeling good enough and feeling worthless, we have to try and remember that somewhere, at some time, to someone- we will have no value. we will be priceless to them.

welcome to society: where karma's a bitch and the truth hurts.

Everybody wants the truth. Or so they say. But here's the thing, they don't want the actual truth; they want you to tell them what they want to hear and pretend it's the truth. That's just how people are. We say we want one thing, but we really want something else. Welcome to society: the place where the truth is lies and plastic is apparently not cold and hard anymore (thanks to silicone).

For example, when a girl is trying on jeans at the mall, they always bring someone along to tell them how they "truthfully" look in the jeans. So when they come out in jeans that are too tight for a toothpick and ask you if they look good, no matter how much they know the answer is no, they want you to say yes. I mean, if they are going for the whole "fresh baked muffin" look- tell them they are perfect. But if not, tell them that jean sizes do not correlate to the next time they will ever go out on a date. Just because you are a size 28 does not mean you are doomed to be single the rest of your life.

Or example #2, when guys get their ears pierced and ask you if it looks good. Don't get me wrong, some guys can totally pull it off. But the other ones just look like they missed the boy band bus by about 10 years. They ask you, "Do you like them? Be honest." Well, what are you supposed to tell the Back Street Boy? Do you tell them that they look great? Or do you tell them that 98 Degrees called and Nick Lachey wants his style back?

The truth is something that I think people want to want to hear. But in reality, the truth is most likely going to be exactly what you didn't want to hear. But that's the beauty of the truth. The actual truth is going to be one of the only things you will ever encounter in this world that will actually be reality. In fact, I don't even know why we call reality- reality. I mean there is hardly anything real about it. Look at reality shows. They are supposed to be showing the real lives of people, I mean come on. It's in the name. Reality TV. But apparently no one's lives are actually entertaining enough to hold our attention, so producers and writers decide to show us things we want to see rather than the truth.

So here's where you have to make the decision. Do you really want the truth? Or do you want the scripted reality TV version. Because if you do want the truth,: be warned. It's going to hurt more than the tattoo of Spongebob you're going to get on your ass when you get really drunk in college.

Forgive and Don't Forget.

Juxtaposition: to place 2 seemingly opposing words side by side. I never really understood how juxtaposition worked until today. I mean I knew what it was, but I didn't really know why it had to by called by some 5 syllable title. Until today. When, for some reason, it made sense. And it's all thanks to this three word phrase: "Forgive and forget." I couldn't possibly think of 2 words that are more in opposition.

There's forgiving. And then there's forgetting. Forgiving is the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake. But Forgetting is dismissing from the mind. The only 2 things these 2 words have in common are their first three letters. I can and will always forgive someone, but i NEVER forget what they've done. Maybe it's my semi-photographic memory, but I never forget what people have done to me, and I never will.

Forgiving has this connotation of being this very long, grueling process that causes emotional damage, but that's where people get confused. That is actually forgetting. Forgiving is just giving someone another chance. Forgetting is ignoring why you have to give them a second chance in the first place.

I still remember the grudges I've held since 5th grade. I will never forget. There was this girl in my class who had a crush on my "boyfriend" at the time. Yes I say boyfriend in quotations because all we ever did was call each other names and make each other cry. I use that term VERY loosely. But anyway, I liked him and he liked me and she was never in the picture. But then one day she decides to tell him that he can do better than me and that he deserves a girl like her. HA. Don't you just LOVE 5th grade soap operas? SO great. So she tried to kiss him and he pushed her away and then we all walked back into the classroom from recess. Except her. She sat on her ass and cried like a baby because she got denied by a fifth grade boy. But to this day, I hate her for ever assuming she is greater than another human being. Oh and for trying to kiss my boyfriend. Moral of the story? I forgave her and her fifth grade foolishness, but I still haven't forgotten what she did.

Or, my sophomore year when this girl decided to spread a rumor that I hooked up with her boyfriend.... Yeah. Trust me when I say, you will never understand my hatred for this girl. And this was 1 of the many rumors she spread. Rumor after rumor I forgave her for what she said (I don't know why, she is a waste of a human being anyway), but I will never forget every single lying word that came out of her big, disproportionately shaped lips. I'm not bitter at all. Can you tell?

But the point is, be careful what you do, what you say, and how you do and say it, because no matter how many times someone forgives you, they will never forget what you did. Choose every single word and step you take wisely, because making a mistake is like stepping into wet cement. The cement wills till harden and people will still be able to walk on it, but your footprint will always be there.

hey cupid, would you mind shooting both of us next time.

it was no coincidence that i happened to be wearing all black on valentine's day. i hate valentine's day. it's just so pointless. it gives couples a day to celebrate their love-which they should do all the time anyway. and it gives single people a day to realize how pathetic they really are. really. i mean come on. the fact that Singles Awareness Day has SAD as an acronym is not an accident. While all my friends were out on hot dates with their boyfriends or guys they were dating, i had a hot date with a treadmill. maybe my valentine got my hot and sweaty, but at least their valentine's could speak. i felt so pathetic. i was one of 5 people at the gym. 5. it was great knowing that i was one of 5 people who are actually single on valentine's day.

i just hate seeing all the pink and red and hearts. everywhere. balloons. candy. flowers. blah. blah. blah. do you realize how many trees and plants we kill with the amount of flowers and greeting cards we give out on valentine's day. i think mother nature is the only one who can complain more about valentine's day than i can. and trust me. i could go on for days. I'm like the scrooge of valentine's day. by the end of the day, people were using the phrase "don't be such a Karly" when anyone was being a Debbie downer. whatever. it's a stupid holiday. stupid and cupid do not coincidentally rhyme. okay maybe they do. but still. i mean who listens to a kid in a diaper shooting heart shaped bow and arrows.

also, where the hell did cupid learn archery BECAUSE HE FRICKIN SUCKS AT IT. for doing this as a career, he sure does suck at it. i mean even i have better aim than him. he always seems to manage to forget to shoot both of us. he always shoots me and i fall in love but always happens to miss the guy he should have shot. and it's not even like he accidentally hits somebody else, he misses completely. and then i am stuck dealing with the consequences. so cupid, would you mind shooting BOTH of us next time? thanks.

grow a pear.

you know when you are at the gym and there is a guy obviously staring at you. He follows you from machine to machine, trying to be nonchalant but failing more miserably than i failed calculus. so you take off you headphones to give him a chance to talk to you, and what does he do? NOTHING. or you know that guy who you make eye contact with every day in the hall way, and it's not just any kind of eye contact buy like eye sex eye contact. And then you randomly run into him either after school, or at the store, or a coffee shop; and he has the perfect opportunity to introduce himself and he DOESN'T. it's so incredibly frustrating. i mean seriously. i think it's more embarrassing to obviously check someone out and then not talk to them than to go up and introduce yourself to them. it's also really creepy when someone admires you from afar but doesn't actually do anything about it. If all you want to do is look at me, take a picture. i promise it will last longer. so here is a message to all boys out there: GROW A PAIR. 

people are too concerned with their image and how people perceive them that they don't realize how many opportunities they miss out on. Don't get me wrong, the tough macho man act is attractive at first, but the fact that you have the confidence to start a conversation with a complete stranger, is not only flattering to the girl, but its really attractive too. don't know what to day? here, let me help you, or at least let google help me, help you.

• step 1: greet the person with a friendly smile.
• step 2: ask a general question that could spark conversation like "hey, you look familiar from somewhere!" you can then proceed to ask where you may know them from (even if you know that you don't). you will figure out what their hobbies are so that way you can see what you have in common.
• step 3: use the info that you secret acquired to spark general conversation. pay attention to little details to compliment them on (but only throw compliments in when appropriate- you're trying to flatter them, not creep them out).

• tip 1: don't just hear the response, listen to it. it will help spark conversation topics.
• tip 2: keep to general topics like music, sports, television shows, movies, food, etc. they are easy to talk about and so general that if things get awkward, you can bring the conversation to an end.
• tip 3: watch body language. it sometimes speaks louder than words.

Now you really don't have the excuse that you "don't know what to say" because that is not true. i just outlined an entire conversation for you that a monkey could carry. you never know if you will get the chance to have a conversation with that person again, so if i were you i would take any opportunity you get.

you feel like you're drowning but you've still got breath.

I think one of the hardest things in the world is watching someone with something you deserve. You want it and you know you deserve it, but someone else has it. and it's right in front of you. and there's nothing you can do. in the great words of the script "it feels like you're drowning but you've still got breath." it's kind of a hopeless feeling and its absolutely terrible. and horrible. and no good. It happens to me all the time, with relationships, with careers, with school. it happens to everyone everywhere. I'm a firm believer in being fair, so if it happens to everyone, wouldn't it be just as fair if it didn't happen to anyone? I don't know about you, but i think that sounds fair.

With music and the industry being the way it is, it sucks to see people sitting on the top when they didn't actually perform their way up there. unfortunately, everything has a price. anything can be bought. even success. so while i'm sitting here hovering right above the bottom, and i know that i have what it takes to be sitting comfortably right on the top, it bothers me. it gives me that awful feeling in my stomach like someone just punched me with every ounce of strength they have in their body. and the only thing i can do is "be patient" and "keep trying," according to everyone else in the universe. i'm sorry. i am not patient. do NOT tell me to wait.

Or when you see a girl with the guy you like. and you know it's your hand that fits perfectly in his. and no matter how much you want him to see it, no matter how obvious it is, no matter how strong the magnifying glass he is looking through, he'll never see it. knowing that someone else has something that you want with all your heart is literally heart breaking. yes i know that your heart is a muscle and it cannot actually break. But it sure does feel like it.

and i don't know about guys, but girls will find any connection or "sign" that they can just to justify to themselves that they deserve it. i hate to break it to the girl population, but just because you you both have the same color eyes does not mean you are meant to be together. just because you both love the same song or same show, does not mean that you are destined to spend eternity together. cause if it did, we'd all be living in a polygamous, STD infected, constant orgy. I wish it were that easy. but it's not. if life were easy, it'd be your mom.