we chase the things that run away.

Principle of attraction #1: We chase the things that run away. Obviously, I mean if what we wanted was sedentary there wouldn't be any sort of chasing involved. But the point is that what we chase is running away, the point is that we are chasing it in the first place. You would think that by now we would realize that the things we are chasing are only running away because they DON'T want us to catch them; I mean if they wanted us, they wouldn't be running in the first place. But yet there is some perverse effect that always accompanies chasing. Since we were 5 years old we would run away from the other kids of the opposite sex on the playground. It was a game. The boys would chase the girls or vice versa, but it was a sort of flirtation tactic. So from a young age, we are taught that someone or something running away from us actually means that they want us to chase them. I mean the best part is always the chase, right? You may say yes, but it also is the most tiring. And what if what we are chasing actually does not want to be chased and is actually trying to escape? Well, then you just look like a desperate idiot.

Mind games were so much simpler when we were only 5 years old. They were more fun too. Now, they just suck. But one thing is still the same between our pediatric play dates and our present lives. Everyone always seems to be chasing the same thing. It's like there is one prized possession that everyone wants. And yet, it always seems to be one of the first people to give up that actually gets the prize. I remember in elementary school when we would chase the boys around the school yard; it was usually the first girl who stopped and waited for the boy to finish running around the circle that caught him. Its smart. Let the boy run around in circles and he will eventually end up where you are waiting. But where's the fun in that.

So here is my dilemma. I'm tired of chasing after things that are running away, but at the moment- everything is running away. I'm at the point where I have to choose what is worth wasting my energy on and what is running into an endless abyss of God knows where. It's hard to decipher what is running because it wants to be chased and what is running because it wants to get as far away from me as possible. I know my dreams want to be chased- dreams are MEANT for chasing. But it's the other things in life that I'm not sure about. Is He worth chasing? Is He running away? Or is He the five year old boy on the playground waiting for me to chase him around tirelessly until the bell rings?

patience is a sucky virtue.

Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately I am not so virtuous in this aspect. I think the majority of the world sucks at being patient. We hate having to wait. We call in orders so we don't have to wait for them to have it ready, we just go pick it up and it's done. We call stores to see if they have what we want so that way we don't have to wait around looking for something that may or may not be there. We even get impatient waiting for our Starbucks to be ready in the morning. I mean I don't know about you, but I feel like it takes the barista like 10 minutes to make my Carmel Brulee Latte in the morning- even if it really only takes 3 minutes. I know I hate waiting. I especially hate waiting for something that may or may not happen.

I feel like most of the time, we spend waiting for something we want to happen but we don't necessarily know if it will. Then we get angry when it doesn't happen and we feel like we've wasted our time on nothing. I feel like this happens all the time. I know it happens with me. I mean with music I always wait in hopes that I will get to work with an amazing producer who has a hit song ready for me. But that usually ends in disappointment when the producer gets "too busy." I mean come on being "too busy" is the lamest excuse in the book. At least come up with some believable, creative, and entertaining excuse. Like tell me you are going to go study at an Ashram in India or you are traveling to Switzerland to go become a Chocolatier. I don't care but don't tell me you are too busy. This is my future we are talking about. I care too much about it to accept "too busy" as an excuse.

But I feel like we wait the most for people we like. The human heart can't help but feel the way it does. It has its own volition and prerogative and it just feels what it feels. You can't program your heart to like someone nor can you tell it to stop liking someone. That's what sucks about love. You can't help but feel the way you do. So as our heart aches for someone, we think "well maybe he/she just needs time." We try and tell ourselves that they will eventually fall for us too and then we will live happily ever after. And don't get me wrong, sometimes it's worth the wait and you get your fairy tale ending. But most of the time, we waste a bunch of time and energy waiting for someone to fall for us. One of my friends told me that you can only wait so long for someone to fall for you before you have to realize that if they haven't fallen for you yet then they aren't worth your time. But that doesn't mean we can stop liking them. It's not that easy.

Waiting sucks. I get it. I agree. It sucks. I wish I could be patient and be able to wait things out, but that's not the kind of person that I am. I swear I have some form of ADD or ADHD because I just can't pay attention or sit still and wait for something to happen. I have to do something and be pro-active and get what I want. I'm slowly realizing that that is not the most effective way to succeed. Sometimes you just have to wait it out. And yeah sometimes it won't pay off and you'll hate yourself for wasting time, but sometimes things are worth the wait. You'll never know unless you wait and see.

it's really hard to predict your future when you have absolutely no idea where its going.

I'm realizing that right now, at this moment, I am basically planning my future. With every choice I make, I am somehow shaping my future. With every submit button I push, with every quick-take question I answer, with every essay I type, I am basically deciding my future. But something that I am also realizing, is it's really hard to predict your future when you have absolutely no idea where its going.

I'm not just talking about school though. I mean I am, but it also applies to other aspects of my life. I mean with school, I have basically decided my future, but I don't exactly know what I chose to do. I already applied to schools and had to decide my major, my minor, and my emphasis. I could tell you exactly what I chose for each one, but could I tell you why? kind of. I know what I want to do with my life, but it has absolutely nothing to do with my schooling. So basically my education is my back up. But I don't know what my back up plan is. I have absolutely no idea where the degrees I'm going to get are actually going to take me. Life is so unpredictable. I mean I know my parents didn't plan on watching this economy sink like the Titanic. Otherwise, they probably would have chosen more stable professions. I am kind of scared of where the future is leading because there is no way to even guess where it will go, so there really is no way to prepare for it.

I kind of feel the same way with choices I make outside of school. Like if my music dreams play out, I'm going to need to become really good really fast at everything: guitar, piano, singing, theory. But I don't want to waste my time doing something that will actually have no relevance to my future. I also don't want to prioritize incorrectly. I mean I feel like I already have. I put my social life before my school work which has probably screwed me over, but at this point, it's too late to care. I've enjoyed actually meeting new people and making the friends of a lifetime. I wouldn't trade that for anything. But part of me worries that I've missed something. Like what if I didn't meet someone that I was supposed to? What if I missed an opportunity that I should have taken? What if I was too oblivious to notice someone or something that could have changed my life.

I'm probably over analyzing it because that's just who I am, but like i said, it's really hard to predict your future when you have absolutely no idea where its going. I guess part of the adventure in life is enduring all its ups and downs. Part of the mystery of life is going through it pretty blindly. I mean I feel like I'm blind folded  on Wheel of Fortune and Pat Sajak and Vanna White are asking me to pick a letter, but I can't even see what word I'm trying to spell. It's like I'm doing a crossword puzzle blindfolded. It's really hard to spell out your future when you don't even know what you're trying to spell out. Oh well, we're already traveling down life's path, it's too late to turn back now. Might as well keep guessing which path to travel at the fork in the road. Just hope that the path you choose doesn't lead you to a cliff. That would suck.

You're not CVS. Stop being there for their convenience.

We all know that we should never make somebody a priority when we are only an option. Options are only there at your convenience. It's like clothes. I know typical girl thing of me to say, but it works. When you look at your clothes, you have jeans, shorts, tank tops, jackets, sandals, boots, etc. All options. You only choose to wear what's convenient for you. You where jeans and boots when it's cold and shorts and sandals when it's hot. Or unless you're, as facebook puts it, a "weather confused slut," then you wear uggs and shorts... but anyway my point is that you only use the clothes that are convenient for you. Well at this point, I'm done being the gladiator sandals you shoved into the back of your closet. I'm not saying I want to be rainboots either. I'm saying I don't want to be clothes, I'd rather be... your air, something that you need everyday.

I feel like we get too comfortable being there for people whenever they need us. In a way it's like saying we are second best. We aren't the first choice, but we'll have to do. No. that's not the way it's supposed to be. We can't keep putting ourselves out there for other people, we aren't a CVS. We're not convenience stores. Ha! I thought that was pretty funny. But just do me a favor. Don't be somebody's Steve Madden zip up boots. Don't be somebody's leather jacket. Don't be somebody's Abercrombie shorts. You're not an option for the day, you're the choice of a lifetime.

the show goes on.

Everything happens for a reason. No body knows why. Accept those facts and move on with your life. I know I use those sentences in almost every blog, but with each re-post of those words, I start to believe it a little bit more. The facts are easy to understand, but hard to completely accept. Especially when it comes to heart break. My greatest fear in life is a broken heart. It's the only ailment that cannot be fixed with medicine, stitches, or a kiss from mommy. Sorry Advil, but even your potent pain killing power can't ease the pain of a broken heart.

Break ups suck. Period. End of story. Kind of. Remember that there is always an optimistic outlook on things, even if it's hidden by a brick wall- it's still there. The way I look at break ups is, it's God's way of saying it's time to let somebody else know how amazing you are. It's God's way of exemplifying the oh so pre-school lesson that "sharing is caring." There's no doubt a break up is awful; you are saying good bye to something that has been such a huge part of your life. But the fact that break ups suck is common knowledge, like 2+2=4. We get it. But what people don't seem to understand is that a break up is just God's way of helping us make friends, forcibly make friends. Maybe even open our eyes to a friend that has been there all along- a friend that maybe should be more. You just never know why God threw that little hiccup into his plan for you, but it's there for a reason.

Life is unforgiving; it doesn't stop for any reason. Just because our worlds stop when our hearts are broken doesn't mean the real world does. It's one of those things where our worlds are run by our hearts, but the real world is run by some omnipotent being that does not no where the off button is. Life is like a movie. A really long, gigantic movie. A break up is like losing your costar. Just because you lose your costar does not mean the movie ends- it just means that the writers will come up with some crazy spontaneous event that explains your costar's sudden disappearance. Then the casting director will find you a new costar. And the movie will continue. Except in life, your brain plays the role of both the writer and the casting director. You come up with some excuse justifying why the break up happened, and then you are out on the hunt for your next partner in crime. The next Brad to your Angelina. But just remember, no matter what happens in life- the show goes on.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

I think that in life, everybody needs something to believe in. It doesn't matter if it's God or any other spiritual being, but I think believing in something is essential to our emotional and spiritual survival. But not only do we need something to believe in, but we also need someone to believe in. A role model. A hero.

Role Model (noun): someone worthy of imitation

Hero (noun): a person distinguished by exceptional 

courage and nobility and strength

Now that we have cleared up the ambiguity of the terms role model and hero, I can finally move onto my point. I'm honestly really tired of celebrities living up to our low expectations of them. I feel like we expect celebrities to abuse drugs and alcohol, get DUI's, have more hoes than Santa, and shave their head when they have mental break downs. It really bothers me how they are fully aware that their lives are under a microscope, called TMZ, all the time, but still do stupid things. I also understand that it's the outrageous things they do that keep them at the high level of social status. But instead of doing something outrageously stupid, let's try something outrageously self-less.

It also bothers me when celebrities, whom young children look up to, wear inappropriate clothing. I mean there is this thing called underwear that normal people wear, especially when they wear skirts and dresses. There are also these things called dresses, pants, shirts, shorts, skirts, and jackets. I'm sick of watching talented artists and actors walking around in a loin cloth and pasties. Let's try and dress more appropriately, especially for your audience.

I think celebrities take for granted that we actually care what's going on in their life. We want to know who is dating who, we want to know who is wearing what, we want to know where they are going and why. Yes I know this makes us all sound like stalkers, and yes I know that twitter has not made it any less creepy; but its human nature to be curious. So when celebrities complain about getting their pictures taken, I want to scream. I would LOVE for people to care about what's going on in my life. I can barely get people to listen to what I have to say or ask about what I'm doing, let alone get them to actually care about it.

So while celebrities complain about how the paparazzi are following them around like a love sick puppy, there are people putting their lives on the line for our freedom and safety. I went to dinner with a friend of mine the other day who is a marine and he told me all about his time spent at Quantico. Hearing what they went through for so long really made me realize how much of a wimp I am and how much I take for granted. There are soldiers who are risking their lives for us all over the world, just so we can be safe and live in a country where we pride ourselves on our freedom. There are firefighters and police officers who save us from harm and come to the rescue with just a single phone call. There are doctors and EMT's and surgeons who are ready to save our lives as soon as we need help. I never realized how lucky I was to live in a country with such an amazing safety net. I never realized that every where I go, I'm surrounded by true heroes who never get the credit they deserve.

I'm not saying celebrities aren't worth a moment of TV time, that's definitely not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we allot so much time on TV and the radio to listen to the lives of celebrities and their "woes," when there are other things that deserve more air time, like the hidden heroes in our country. We also need to start paying more attention to what's going on internationally. I know that there are some enemies amongst countries in the world, but we also have to realize we are all people. We all have blood running through our veins. We need to bond together and help each other out. We all need to be a hero to someone. 

I know I look UP to my younger brothers. Yes, I did say younger brothers. One of my younger brothers is so in shape. He is only 15 and he is extremely healthy, fit, and enjoys staying in shape. I wish I could say the same. He definitely got the more athletic genes in the family. If you ask me to go to the gym or run once I'm watching TV on the couch, I will look at you like your are completely crazy and bury my head back into my cheetah snuggy and finish watching my Law and Order SVU marathon. My brother, however, would get up, get his shoes on, and go. He's just one of those people who enjoys staying healthy. I really look up and him for that. My other brother is a bit of a handful. He's only 5, but man is he demonic. He looks angelic with his blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes- but what you don't see are the little devil horns growing in. But what my little brother taught me how to do was to love. He has such innocence and intelligence at the same time. But it's his kind heart, that I don't really acknowledge as much as I should, that showed me how to really love someone. I'm lucky enough to have my role models in my own house and my heroes almost everywhere I go.

So if you get the chance, re-evaluate what you look for in your role models and heroes. I'm not saying celebrities do not serve as good role models. I think Beyonce and Bono are extremely amazing role models. But really think. Are you looking up to them because they are good people, or just because they are in Christian Louboutin heels.

Smile. Your enemies hate it.

It's so difficult to put on a front that you are completely fine and better off without someone. I get it. I've been there. In fact, I'm usually always there. Whether it be a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's really hard to show people that you are okay- especially when you're not. But my mom has always told me, "The opposite of live isn't hate, it's indifference." The best revenge is almost no revenge at all. In fact, seeking revenge shows someone that they hurt you so badly that you feel the need to use your time and energy plotting to get them back. Yes, I know it's hard not to post statuses about how upset you are, or post song lyrics about someone breaking your heart and now your broken, etc. But as stupid as we want to think they are, they do know that those statuses are about them. And they do think we are pathetic.

The best way to get back at someone who has hurt you, is to show them that they really didn't phase you; in fact, they actually held you back. The best revenge is success. It kills me when I see or hear about people I really hate and how successful they've gotten. It makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for them, like I was the reason they weren't succeeding. It makes me feel like they are better than me. And let me tell you. It sucks. Like a lot.

I now know that the best way to get over a fallen friendship or a broken heart is so focus on yourself. Focus on school. Focus on getting healthy and in shape. Focus on your future. Focus on work. Focus on things that affect you and your well being. That way, when you finally have that awkward run-in with an ex-friend or ex-boyfriend, they will feel like the idiot. You'll look great, feel great, and you will have the great success stories to back you up. I know that the last time I was heart broken, I started going to the gym, paying more attention in school, actually doing my homework, and I focused on singing. When I awkwardly ran into the douche bag at the movies, he came up to me and said that I "looked amazing." My response? "Yeah, I know." He was definitely taken aback by my new confidence because when I was with him, I was so self conscious and insecure. Then we proceeded to catch up, telling each other what was going on in our lives. He continued to tell me that he was failing half of his classes, lost his job, and got busted for weed. Then I proceeded to tell him that I had great grades, was booking modeling jobs, and signed with a record company. Boy was he impressed. Then he invited me to hang out with him after the movie. I laughed in his face, walked away, and continue to ignore him to this day. Moral of the story? Don't piss me off or break my heart. Just kidding, that's not the actual moral, but it's good advice. Again, just kidding. But the real moral of the story is: being successful is attractive, even to people whom you thought would never talk to you again.

So my advice to you is smile. Be successful. Re-prioritize so that you put yourself first. You will feel better, look better, and you will definitely catch the eye of people around you. Just remember a smile is your finest suit. There's no way you'll end up on fashion police. Your enemies? That's another story.